This (Saturday) morning N headed off to Christ Church for a meeting and Battell for an Ilya continuo audition, and I was left to fend for myself breakfast-wise. He insists he has plenty of food, but my findings were slim (cheese? juice?) so instead I had an ice cream sandwich. This wasn't just any ice cream sandwich, though - he'd gotten me a box of them as a gift during Music Man time in early August, and of course they couldn't come along to Montreal with me. So having one today was especially amusing since I've been begrudgingly/happily hearing about it every time he eats one of my ice cream sandwiches, but now I'm here to reclaim them!
The second thing I did this morning was throw some ingredients into Chris's bread maker and start a little baking project. It's so fun to be here with nothing to do but relax! Now N and I are off to the farmer's market on State St., and some lunch too. Love!
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Ahh. Now it's Sunday, and winding down at that. Yesterday ended up much more relaxed than any day in my recent personal history - we checked out the farmer's market and N bought some creamy potato-leek soup, then we had a great breakfast at the smallest-ever two-person table at The Pantry. N had a shortstack of banana pancakes with forktinesfull of butter, and I had an onion bagel slathered in cream cheese (too much I said! Never too much, N said!) with some Canadian bacon (ha!) on the side. Halfway through the meal we noticed a new poster up, right next to the table, for the Ottowa Jazz Festival...and along with the bacon, I couldn't help but feel like Canada was chiding me a bit for deserting on such short notice. But the home-ness of New Haven has really done something for perspective, and Montreal newness will still be there when I'm back tomorrow night.
The rest of Saturday was spent with little errands, checking out bedframes at Ikea with N, picking up a couple things at Sash's and my favorite little Walgreen's, and treating ourselves to the homemade pretzels I made (some cinn/sugar, some kosher salt, some garlic salt) and a little champagne N got for my visit / end of auditions / for Chris White's first week of teaching classes. Also down Memory Lane included dinner pickup from Ivy Noodle (the best steamed Chinese broccoli with oyster sauce, ever!) and fortune cookies in the true, college-reminiscent what-am-I-doing-with-my-life fashion. N had some work to do and I caught up with Ma, after which point we watched a good portion of the A&P church xmastime sing-in (on VHS, provided by Conrad) and finished off champagne; then early to bed early to rise, since Noah had his first Sunday as organ scholar and co-choral director at Christ Church New Haven. !
Sunday N went off to two Xchurch services, while I slept in, did a little reading, and then walked downtown to surprise Mixed Company, my college a cappella group, with a visit. Only one person, Ian Janer, knew that I'd be around, so it felt especially stealthy; what I wasn't anticipating was the actual act of walking around Yale campus as a completely unaffiliated person. Granted some of my perceptions became sentimentalized - what I might've described as my "preferred route" became now in my mind my "favorite way to walk downtown," etc. - but it was certainly an interesting feeling. I stumbled into Saybrook, my old residential college, barely behind someone who'd swiped their ID card in, and was flooded with memories of each of three dorm rooms there with Sash, Liubin, Agnes, Cari...not to mention all the memories and mystery of the tower and the feeling of being in the hammocked courtyard again, right next to the 3x/day dining hall. Right as I passed through SY and into Branford I just so happened to see an old friend, Arden, reading Shakespeare's "A Winter's Tale" on the steps, who then of course got up and told me all about how he's dramaturging this show and how he was sick last week and had hallucinatory dreams and ahhh why am I here and for how long!? It was a lot of fun to experience what I so well remember as the Yale overachiever overenthusiast way of life...how I wish some McGill singers would get over themselves and be more this way! Anyway, right as we parted ways, Mixed Co went on lunch break and happened to be walking through Branford, right towards me...and the reaction was completely priceless. Scott Hillier particularly bowled through the group and picked me up and it was so great and fun to be with them all again; since they were on break Scott and Ian and I went to Booktrader for Tempestos and iced vanilla chai, and caught up a little bit before we went back to the audition space, and I filled out an auditionee form with various inside jokes and MixedCo references.
I was introduced to the group by the rush managers just as any other auditionee would be, and then sang my original audition song from (AHH) five years ago, "Angel Eyes," plus various other silly things (impressions of a few group members throughout gump history, the Cranberries, Alanis Morisette, etc.). It was lots of fun, and almost even better was getting to sit for an adorable audition - a real live freshman, only a little scared out of his mind, clutching a bottle of Yale water and singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow." Luckily though he was very good, and I even got to go sing the "How the Scenery Changes" shoe part with a quartet. If BK is reading this, I still love that song!
At this point it was a little after 1:30, so I didn't want to keep N waiting downtown; said some sad goodbyes and headed to the department where he'd been practicing for a little while after church. He said the YBOP crew were having a meeting on the first floor, and that I should say hi, so of course I stopped in - but the reaction was so horribly different than the other I'd just received, "What are *you* doing here, aren't you supposed to be in Montreal?" The only person who was genuinely happy to see me was Prof. Lalli, so I gave him a quick hug and kiss and left feeling not unlike chopped liver. I'm sure what with the final year of the project, everyone is incredibly stressed with the start of a schoolyear and the auditions going on, not to mention it seemed like all the most important people were there working hard and concentrating; so I didn't let it bother me. Needless to say the stress and exhaustion of last year's jobs meant something very different than four years of a cappella friendships, so all that really mattered was seeing Lalli and his happy smile of greeting.
N and I embarked on a few errands, then decided to do something a little spontaneous and silly: in honor of his recent trip to Germany/Austria, and both of our loves of German / cold beer on hot days, we went to a hilarious restaurant outside of Berlin CT that specialized in German food/drink. Huge liter mugs and silly hats abounded, not to mention dirndled waitresses and ridiculous food portions. Noah went for the mushroom-gravy Schnitzel with fruit cup and salad and spätzle and banana creme, and I had scallops with spätzle and fruit cup and salad and apple pie (to go). So much food! We had a good time, though I'll admit I was letting some McGill stuff gnaw at me; a friend, Clayton, was going to go to the department in Montreal and check the opera cast lists for me, but hadn't gotten a chance yet, so I felt really caught in between (not to mention, there was an Opera McGill meeting scheduled for Tuesday morning, and if I got into the opera I'd need to be there; if not I could stay another day in New Haven and take a Tuesday morning rideshare). So N was good to talk me through those thoughts and fears, and we drove the 45 min home after a long leisurely meal.
Upon returning home, the email said one new - Facebook, from a new countertenor friend at McGill. "Hey girly, cast lists are up, you're Agrippina and Dido cover." And that was it! Rideshare for Monday afternoon, and opera this semester. Handel's Agrippina only has a few female characters, and I've never had a title role before; Dido is a role I've never expected to play since I've always been more a Belinda, but okay! Even though this sends my schedule into a complete messy frenzy, and I've already begun to send emails for meetings with administrators and phone conferences with group directors, I'm glad to be getting a chance to sing with McGill Opera this year. Whew.
Anyway, N had to practice so I brought along some work, and did reading in the ISM while he holed away for a little while; we got to see Arianne briefly (yay!) and I met a couple new Yale organists. We just barely made it out in time to get to Criterion to see Julie and Julia, which I really enjoyed (esp. the onion chopping scene), and we got more popcorn and drink than any six people could consume, let alone two. N had Monday morning class so it was again early to bed, but I was so glad we got to see that movie together, and it was the end to a great day.
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Today, Monday, was my last day in New Haven and last chance to relax before returning to an ever-faster-paced Montreal life. So, when N got up early, I did too - answered emails, called Dashon to make a lunch plan, and even got to see Derek Greten-Harrison briefly who dropped off music to me and gave me the lowdown on Emma Kirkby coming to Yale in October (AHH I really want to go!). N got home and we went downtown to have a short lunch with Dashon at Bulldog Burrito (so good to see him!), and we also got to see Panetti (love her) and Casey B (¡¡hooray!!). We snooped in Xchurch a little then said goodbye to Dashon, and headed up to West Rock to just relax and walk around, and say goodbye. New Haven is still stuck in summertime, not to mention full of people and places and things that represent my past; comforting and comfortable as all that may be, it was time to go. There's something less disturbing and more reassuring (yet definitely quite a bit of both) about the fact that life moves inexorably forward, and Yale/New Haven goings-on move at the same pace as they would with or without me. Neither will Montreal have paused! I do hope that my lilies on the dining room table have stayed hardy, and that the weather hasn't gotten too much more autumnal.
N dropped me off at the same meeting point off of 87 to ride back with Abbie and Phil, and it's been largely uneventful - a little reading, a little napping, a lot of leftover popcorn consumption. Soon we'll hit the border and hopefully avoid a long wait, not to mention work through Abbie's lack of passport (! luckily she has a permanent residence card and health card, or some such, and lots more proof of Quebec residency than of American citizenship). I'll start with real lessons, opera, church job, and real homework this week, so there's not too little to do (...why do I ever worry about that??...); but there's a certain relaxing quality about learning where to work and study in a new place, so I'm hoping to use that as a balancing beam plus add a little more socializing. Wish me luck!
Love,
Estelí
Monday, September 7, 2009
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Spontaneity...
Here's a blogpost from a long car ride yesterday, that I was too tired to post when arriving after midnight. :)
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So, after an incredibly long week under the audition spotlights, I decided to do something a little crazy...hop on a rideshare to visit Noah in New Haven for the long Labor Day weekend. I know he was just in Montreal, and I know there are first-week studies to be attending to, but this will literally be my last Sunday sans church, and the prospect of Monday off too was too good to pass up. I found a share on the facebook group "People who travel between NY and Montreal" and got confirmation from Abbie, rushed around, and managed to get to the Lionel-Groulx metro to meet her at 4:15pm today.
We chatted a little bit before her boyfriend Phil arrived, and she said they're heading down to New Jersey for a wedding; she's a social worker who went to McGill for undergrad and has been in Quebec for a while. Phil arrived and said immediately in French something about "passport"...at which point Abbie goes, "Ohmigod. I don't have mine." ......So! She did have a copy of the passport, albeit with an expired date, and here we wait at the border, in a line of people waiting to cross, wondering if we'll have to head the hour back into Montreal to get her passport. Sigh! Curve ball!
In the meanwhile, I listen to them exchange Quebecois and muse about the past week. Quick update: We got through the border!! What a relief. We went to the smaller border check, which was probably an excellent idea. At any rate, despite this entry being disjunct, I'm still full of thoughts from the past week, and have a nice 6-hour chunk during which to write, do my seminar readings, and experience life without constant performance pressure. Ahhh!
Tuesday was my first audition, and would have been my first class - that class being full, however, I just got to spend the day cleaning, relaxing, preparing. Well, it wasn't necessarily the most relaxing of days, since audition pressure was already starting to weigh in, but it was far less a marathon than some of the days that followed. I spent the greater part of the morning very flustered that I couldn't find my headshots folder, and indeed still haven't found it...but, sometimes that's just what happens when you move, no matter how organized you think you are. I met Conrad, Noah's and my organist friend, to rehearse for my early music audition which was the next day (he played harpsichord for me - very well, too!), and then we happened to meet Clayton (another Oberlin organist friend) outside the practice rooms; although I had a 5:15 practice session scheduled with Cheryl, my pianist, I called her to see if she was on-time and, when she wasn't, we postponed to later that night and I got to have a nice dinner with Conrad and Clayton. We ate sandwiches and talked a lot about Canadian vs. US accents, and then they were nice enough to walk me the 10 or 15 min to my audition at St. John the Evangelist, the "red roof church," on St. Urbain.
Conrad knew the music director so it felt good to have a personal connection going into the audition, not to mention I had already been referred by a friend who sings there and goes to McGill undergrad for recorder, Laura. We sang a little bit with piano, and then some more with organ; I sightread some Byrd and maybe Ockeghem, can't quite remember that far back, and then some medieval square notation. Overall, the audition was about an hour of singing...much longer and more intensive than I expected. I don't think he was extending the audition for any other reason than that he had time, and wanted to see what I could do; but I couldn't well say "I have to go and rehearse, and conserve for three more auditions tomorrow!!" *at* an audition, so I played along. At the end of it all though, he offered me the soprano scholar position, and I said that before I'd commit I should ask about the American payment issue. Unfortunately, he didn't know much about that, and said there might be some issues with my work permit only functioning six months from now, but he was willing to work something out if I was. I left the audition and headed back one more time to the music school, now completely exhausted and a little frustrated, but lucky me - after calling Cheryl to say I was on my way, she had noted how tired I was and brought me peppermint tea to rehearsal! Seriously the best thing ever. So we sat around and chatted a little bit with another singer, David the countertenor, before going in to practice all the songs and arias, and I felt a bit better than before. Voice-wise, I knew the next few days would be exhausting, though, so I cut myself off from singing and talking after we'd finished the rehearsal, and went to bed very early.
Wednesday I had my first seminar, and first class at McGill...at 8:35am. This was a challenge less to my mental and more to my physical capacity; I remembered what Liubin always said about needing to get up early for a while before the actual event of it. At any rate, I won a few free hours that day to warm up and relax, since the seminar was a brief introduction and assignment (Research Methods in Music Education, starting off with preschooler case studies, woo!) and got out at about 9:30 rather than 11:35. I also noted how especially lucky I was to be early to the practice rooms for warmup, because they'd already started filling up with auditionees...SO many auditionees. After the warmup I went home for a little while to have lunch and stop singing, then headed back again to school for my 1:35p Italian diction class. I was happy to find that there were many levels in the class, not only age- and experience-wise but in terms of technical variation: a pianist who always used glottals, a singer whose mouth shape appeared tense, but wasn't actually. I think I'll be learning a lot in there about singing, and not just Italian diction, and the prof is fun to boot.
After class I trotted over to my 2:50p jazz ensemble audition. This audition was definitely a longshot schedule-wise, but I'm really glad I did it; Madeleine Theriault, the conductor/teacher, was incredibly sweet and affable and stopped me after only a few bars of my song, letting me know I was invited to join if I had time. What with all ensembles counting for course credit here, though, I had to tell her I'd let her know only later; I still had early music ensemble credits to fill to complete my degree, and the possibility of an opera or two. She also very kindly let me off the hook for sightreading, just saying "I bet you've done a lot" which was much appreciated, as I still had so much more to go that day. I left that audition and headed to a 4pm early music audition, which was for Valerie the voice chair and Betsy the chamber coach/gambist. Conrad played well, I thought I sang well, and they seemed at ease, which is always a huge plus in auditions (nothing worse the auditioners seeming either more stressed than you or completely disinterested and judgmental). Sightreading was some Schütz, went fine, and they said they'd let me know soon.
I then hurried over to my opera audition, at 4:50p, met Cheryl, talked with a few other singers as we waited, etc. It was then that I got a bit more stressed than I had been before; listening to other singers and hearing their wonderful varied rep, seeing everyone's headshots and glamor-outfits, listening to the blah-blah who knows whom bragging, etc., wasn't great for morale. A friend came out of his audition and complained that the director was rather dry and professional with him, which luckily didn't happen with me but wasn't an exciting prospect, so I headed in feeling less than 100%. It was a large studio with recently redone floors, an overpowering smell of varnish, and just one person, the director, at a table many miles away from the piano; he greeted and welcomed us, and we started with the Handel aria from Agrippina, the aria (I like to think) that got me into school here.
Well, I had already been a little off-kilter, but then what we started with was not what I expected - Cheryl didn't play the recit before the aria (there was some miscommunication there, and she thought we were skipping it) and we just up and went. I definitely did not feel great about the coloratura in the first A section, and could only imagine my colleagues shrugging outside as they heard me for the first time through the audition room doors; but whatEVer. I managed to kick down those demons for the B section and especially for the da capo, or ornamented first section, so I felt at least somewhat redeemed. Still, it was a frustrating audition for me, especially when after the Handel he asked for Purcell then Poulenc, rather than the Britten I'd wanted to do. Take it as it comes, he seemed to be telling me, so I did my best on those other two excerpts, and was dismissed.
Outside the room there was plenty of "oh great jobbbb!" cooing, but I was pretty fed up with the whole singerly process. Cheryl and I went to the graduate orientation at Thomson House, the graduate society, which reminded me a lot of Yale; but, I couldn't partake of the free beer or wine due to auditions, as much as I wanted to relax and celebrate. So we went back to a 6pm "voice area" meeting, with all the voice students present, and got a bit more introduction to the programs and some student advice. I took notes dutifully, but was already planning my evening...the main brunt of auditioning being done, I called Conrad and Clayton right afterwards on my walk home to ask if they'd like to come to my neighborhood and get gelato at the fancy place around the corner. They both agreed, so we met at 8:30; well, Clayton and I did, and then Conrad ended up being so late that Clayton and I decided to get dinner while we waited. So we went to Pizzedelic on St. Laurent, my first time going anywhere twice (!), and I had a nice salad and he got a fancy goat cheese chicken pizza. Conrad finally arrived and hung out while we ate, then we all headed back to gelato only to find...that idiot girl working there had said it closed at 11p, but here it was 10:15 and completely shut down! Upset, we wondered aloud "where could we even get ice cream??" to which a homeless man right next to us said, "right down there you can get ice cream." ...And there it was, a huge double-scoop cone standup sign just down Prince Arthur. We thanked him and got some sorbet and ice cream, and went to enjoy it in the park a couple streets down, talking about college things and what our parents do for a living. I had managed to clean up the apt a bit before I'd left to meet them, so I invited them over just to see the place, and was happy when they were very enthusiastic; so, feeling energized from the freedom from auditions, I invited them over to have breakfast popovers the next day (my next audition was, after all, only at 4:15...even if my first meeting was at 11:30). So we hung out a little more and read Calvin und Hobbes auf Deutsch and also Calvin y Hobbes en español, and they headed home. But wait! What time was that? Oh, 1am. Right. I then went about the business of getting to bed right then, only to wake up at 8:15am to cook. Probably the worst idea I had all week, but at least during the beginning of the day, it seemed totally worth it.
So Thursday was likely the longest day of all, from accumulated stress and lack of sleep, and my attempts to do and be everything all at once. We had popovers with various jams and some good genmaicha brown rice tea, and Conrad tried out his new stovetop espresso machine; but then I had to shoo them off so I could get to McGill by 11:30 for the opera meeting. I was very glad I was there, because Mr. Hansen the director provided some really key information as to what the program was about; my only worry was (and is) that I know as an early music master's student I don't have room in my schedule to take the actual class, such that if I end up doing opera I'll have to be volunteering for the many hours I'd devote to it. Not an unreasonable thing to ask of me, but I'll admit to having gotten used to doing singing things for pay or for credit, and especially when I know how slim my time will be anyway with classes and reading and transcriptions, it's a little daunting. At any rate, I decided to skip a scholarship meeting I'd planned to attend, and instead warmed up in the practice room, went to the library to read and take notes on some reserved material, and then went home to do dishes and clean up, have some lunch, and prepare. It was at this time that I found the rideshare offer for Montreal-NY...so I sent her an email and facebook message, but had yet to hear back and was slightly reeling with the idea of going back for the long weekend. I walked back to McGill for my Song Interpretation class audition, but they were incredibly backed up with auditionees, so I used that time to get to the library, pick up the music education binderfull of articles on reserve, and copy them *just* in case the rideshare went through and I'd want to read them in New Haven over the weekend. The Song Interp audition went pretty well, nothing I'd call spectacular, but nothing terrible either, and I was amused the whole time that it was in the same hall as my original audition had been. I went home one last time to refresh and refuel, and then trekked to St. Andrew and St. Paul (A&P) downtown for one more audition.
After a pretty hurried 30min walk over, I was greeted by many other McGill students also auditioning and waiting in the waiting room. It was good to talk with them a little bit before the audition and hear about their past experiences, and I walked into that audition more calm than I'd been for a few others; Jordan de Souza, the conductor, is also a McGill student and also happens to be in my Italian diction class, and the organist Jonathan Oldengarm was all smiles. I especially enjoyed that Jordan spent most of my first piece just listening while reading my CV, which made me feel like it was the voice and not just "hmm, what *are* you wearing" that he cared about; we went on to an excerpt from Bach b minor mass, which went fine, and then a couple sightreading excerpts, Lizst and a Bleib bei uns by unmarked composer. They seemed happy and especially enthusiastic about my previous choral experience, and told me they'd let me know by today, and I left the room feeling fantastic and relieved.
I waited for the next person after me to finish his audition, so we walked back to campus together to get to the music building *one more time* to see the callback sheet for opera. I wasn't feeling hopeful, and was actually rather glum to be checking about what I thought was a bad audition after the exhilaration of a good one, but there it was - Estelí, callback 11:10am, Agrippina excerpt again. So I called Cheryl, we set up one more meeting time for 10:30a this morning, and there it was, the *really* last thing. I called Clayton and demanded he come out to gelato but not for a long night-out experience, so we had a scoop (tried the kiwi - VERY good) and talked about the auditions from the day (he had had continuo audition). I tried to head to bed as early as possible, but was really unable to sleep even though I was exhausted; it was after midnight by the time my brain finally let me rest.
I woke up this morning to a very wonderful, very adorable IM message from my old college suitemate Liubin: "Hi Estelí! Please take care of yourself! I miss you!" I couldn't help but think how many times she'd told me this through college, when I was running myself down way too often, and it was so good to know that, even from her faraway Texas medical school, she knew the exact right thing to say. I rallied and went to warmup at 9:15, met with Cheryl at 10:30, and headed to the main hall, Pollack, for the 11:10 callback. It was a Zen moment as any; I was so tired it was hard to worry too much. Directly before the audition a man came out of the room and said "Are any of you here from Yale?" and then addressed me "Nice to meet you! Alan Murchie just sent me an email about you, I'm Julian Wachner. I'm looking forward to hearing you." So I went in thinking of lovely Alan and how supportive he's always been for me. We played/sang, this time with the recit, which definitely made me feel more grounded, and were thanked; walked out, wished others toi toi toi, and headed to Paleography class. Clayton was there, as was Laura O, and a couple others I knew, so apart from the end of what felt like an era of auditions, I had a few friends to celebrate with - granted the celebration involved neume and square note reading/singing, but it was good. Clayton joined me very nicely for a sandwich at Java U, and I walked back for a superquick packing and cleaning session, went to the bank for money, went to the metro to get where I needed to meet the rideshare. If I can't say I'm proud of my sleep habits this week, I can be proud of my efficiency!!
Soon comes Albany, NY at which point I call Noah for him to head out and drive 1.5 hrs to meet me in Hillburn NY, just off Abbie and Phil's path to New Jersey. I've been looking up at intervals to experience the full moon; listen to the radio with Abbie/Phil; watch little clips of The Office on Phil's computer (!!!); and have a few reality check moments. I'll never have first-time auditions for McGill again, nor will I have to worry about the church thing like I have these past weeks...I didn't mention that also upon my return home from school and lunch, I found an email from A&P saying I have the job there if I want it. I grin even now thinking about my tentative "I've got to go this weekend since I'll neverrrr have a Sunday off again!" because now, with two church offers, it's really definite. So although I won't get to see the Opera McGill cast sheets posted tomorrow, or receive any audition results phonecalls on my Montreal cell phone, or party hardy with Clayton or go to David's voice majors party or do homework actually at home, it feels good to be getting to see Noah for the long weekend, lay low and get done what I need to get done, relax and have more time together than other weekends will allow. I'm not sure how much time I'll have to see people or go out and be sociable, especially with with having moved only less than a month ago - I can only imagine the "whaaat why are you back already??" comments - but the opportunity was too good to pass up.
Hope everyone is well out there! Sending much love.
Estelí
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So, after an incredibly long week under the audition spotlights, I decided to do something a little crazy...hop on a rideshare to visit Noah in New Haven for the long Labor Day weekend. I know he was just in Montreal, and I know there are first-week studies to be attending to, but this will literally be my last Sunday sans church, and the prospect of Monday off too was too good to pass up. I found a share on the facebook group "People who travel between NY and Montreal" and got confirmation from Abbie, rushed around, and managed to get to the Lionel-Groulx metro to meet her at 4:15pm today.
We chatted a little bit before her boyfriend Phil arrived, and she said they're heading down to New Jersey for a wedding; she's a social worker who went to McGill for undergrad and has been in Quebec for a while. Phil arrived and said immediately in French something about "passport"...at which point Abbie goes, "Ohmigod. I don't have mine." ......So! She did have a copy of the passport, albeit with an expired date, and here we wait at the border, in a line of people waiting to cross, wondering if we'll have to head the hour back into Montreal to get her passport. Sigh! Curve ball!
In the meanwhile, I listen to them exchange Quebecois and muse about the past week. Quick update: We got through the border!! What a relief. We went to the smaller border check, which was probably an excellent idea. At any rate, despite this entry being disjunct, I'm still full of thoughts from the past week, and have a nice 6-hour chunk during which to write, do my seminar readings, and experience life without constant performance pressure. Ahhh!
Tuesday was my first audition, and would have been my first class - that class being full, however, I just got to spend the day cleaning, relaxing, preparing. Well, it wasn't necessarily the most relaxing of days, since audition pressure was already starting to weigh in, but it was far less a marathon than some of the days that followed. I spent the greater part of the morning very flustered that I couldn't find my headshots folder, and indeed still haven't found it...but, sometimes that's just what happens when you move, no matter how organized you think you are. I met Conrad, Noah's and my organist friend, to rehearse for my early music audition which was the next day (he played harpsichord for me - very well, too!), and then we happened to meet Clayton (another Oberlin organist friend) outside the practice rooms; although I had a 5:15 practice session scheduled with Cheryl, my pianist, I called her to see if she was on-time and, when she wasn't, we postponed to later that night and I got to have a nice dinner with Conrad and Clayton. We ate sandwiches and talked a lot about Canadian vs. US accents, and then they were nice enough to walk me the 10 or 15 min to my audition at St. John the Evangelist, the "red roof church," on St. Urbain.
Conrad knew the music director so it felt good to have a personal connection going into the audition, not to mention I had already been referred by a friend who sings there and goes to McGill undergrad for recorder, Laura. We sang a little bit with piano, and then some more with organ; I sightread some Byrd and maybe Ockeghem, can't quite remember that far back, and then some medieval square notation. Overall, the audition was about an hour of singing...much longer and more intensive than I expected. I don't think he was extending the audition for any other reason than that he had time, and wanted to see what I could do; but I couldn't well say "I have to go and rehearse, and conserve for three more auditions tomorrow!!" *at* an audition, so I played along. At the end of it all though, he offered me the soprano scholar position, and I said that before I'd commit I should ask about the American payment issue. Unfortunately, he didn't know much about that, and said there might be some issues with my work permit only functioning six months from now, but he was willing to work something out if I was. I left the audition and headed back one more time to the music school, now completely exhausted and a little frustrated, but lucky me - after calling Cheryl to say I was on my way, she had noted how tired I was and brought me peppermint tea to rehearsal! Seriously the best thing ever. So we sat around and chatted a little bit with another singer, David the countertenor, before going in to practice all the songs and arias, and I felt a bit better than before. Voice-wise, I knew the next few days would be exhausting, though, so I cut myself off from singing and talking after we'd finished the rehearsal, and went to bed very early.
Wednesday I had my first seminar, and first class at McGill...at 8:35am. This was a challenge less to my mental and more to my physical capacity; I remembered what Liubin always said about needing to get up early for a while before the actual event of it. At any rate, I won a few free hours that day to warm up and relax, since the seminar was a brief introduction and assignment (Research Methods in Music Education, starting off with preschooler case studies, woo!) and got out at about 9:30 rather than 11:35. I also noted how especially lucky I was to be early to the practice rooms for warmup, because they'd already started filling up with auditionees...SO many auditionees. After the warmup I went home for a little while to have lunch and stop singing, then headed back again to school for my 1:35p Italian diction class. I was happy to find that there were many levels in the class, not only age- and experience-wise but in terms of technical variation: a pianist who always used glottals, a singer whose mouth shape appeared tense, but wasn't actually. I think I'll be learning a lot in there about singing, and not just Italian diction, and the prof is fun to boot.
After class I trotted over to my 2:50p jazz ensemble audition. This audition was definitely a longshot schedule-wise, but I'm really glad I did it; Madeleine Theriault, the conductor/teacher, was incredibly sweet and affable and stopped me after only a few bars of my song, letting me know I was invited to join if I had time. What with all ensembles counting for course credit here, though, I had to tell her I'd let her know only later; I still had early music ensemble credits to fill to complete my degree, and the possibility of an opera or two. She also very kindly let me off the hook for sightreading, just saying "I bet you've done a lot" which was much appreciated, as I still had so much more to go that day. I left that audition and headed to a 4pm early music audition, which was for Valerie the voice chair and Betsy the chamber coach/gambist. Conrad played well, I thought I sang well, and they seemed at ease, which is always a huge plus in auditions (nothing worse the auditioners seeming either more stressed than you or completely disinterested and judgmental). Sightreading was some Schütz, went fine, and they said they'd let me know soon.
I then hurried over to my opera audition, at 4:50p, met Cheryl, talked with a few other singers as we waited, etc. It was then that I got a bit more stressed than I had been before; listening to other singers and hearing their wonderful varied rep, seeing everyone's headshots and glamor-outfits, listening to the blah-blah who knows whom bragging, etc., wasn't great for morale. A friend came out of his audition and complained that the director was rather dry and professional with him, which luckily didn't happen with me but wasn't an exciting prospect, so I headed in feeling less than 100%. It was a large studio with recently redone floors, an overpowering smell of varnish, and just one person, the director, at a table many miles away from the piano; he greeted and welcomed us, and we started with the Handel aria from Agrippina, the aria (I like to think) that got me into school here.
Well, I had already been a little off-kilter, but then what we started with was not what I expected - Cheryl didn't play the recit before the aria (there was some miscommunication there, and she thought we were skipping it) and we just up and went. I definitely did not feel great about the coloratura in the first A section, and could only imagine my colleagues shrugging outside as they heard me for the first time through the audition room doors; but whatEVer. I managed to kick down those demons for the B section and especially for the da capo, or ornamented first section, so I felt at least somewhat redeemed. Still, it was a frustrating audition for me, especially when after the Handel he asked for Purcell then Poulenc, rather than the Britten I'd wanted to do. Take it as it comes, he seemed to be telling me, so I did my best on those other two excerpts, and was dismissed.
Outside the room there was plenty of "oh great jobbbb!" cooing, but I was pretty fed up with the whole singerly process. Cheryl and I went to the graduate orientation at Thomson House, the graduate society, which reminded me a lot of Yale; but, I couldn't partake of the free beer or wine due to auditions, as much as I wanted to relax and celebrate. So we went back to a 6pm "voice area" meeting, with all the voice students present, and got a bit more introduction to the programs and some student advice. I took notes dutifully, but was already planning my evening...the main brunt of auditioning being done, I called Conrad and Clayton right afterwards on my walk home to ask if they'd like to come to my neighborhood and get gelato at the fancy place around the corner. They both agreed, so we met at 8:30; well, Clayton and I did, and then Conrad ended up being so late that Clayton and I decided to get dinner while we waited. So we went to Pizzedelic on St. Laurent, my first time going anywhere twice (!), and I had a nice salad and he got a fancy goat cheese chicken pizza. Conrad finally arrived and hung out while we ate, then we all headed back to gelato only to find...that idiot girl working there had said it closed at 11p, but here it was 10:15 and completely shut down! Upset, we wondered aloud "where could we even get ice cream??" to which a homeless man right next to us said, "right down there you can get ice cream." ...And there it was, a huge double-scoop cone standup sign just down Prince Arthur. We thanked him and got some sorbet and ice cream, and went to enjoy it in the park a couple streets down, talking about college things and what our parents do for a living. I had managed to clean up the apt a bit before I'd left to meet them, so I invited them over just to see the place, and was happy when they were very enthusiastic; so, feeling energized from the freedom from auditions, I invited them over to have breakfast popovers the next day (my next audition was, after all, only at 4:15...even if my first meeting was at 11:30). So we hung out a little more and read Calvin und Hobbes auf Deutsch and also Calvin y Hobbes en español, and they headed home. But wait! What time was that? Oh, 1am. Right. I then went about the business of getting to bed right then, only to wake up at 8:15am to cook. Probably the worst idea I had all week, but at least during the beginning of the day, it seemed totally worth it.
So Thursday was likely the longest day of all, from accumulated stress and lack of sleep, and my attempts to do and be everything all at once. We had popovers with various jams and some good genmaicha brown rice tea, and Conrad tried out his new stovetop espresso machine; but then I had to shoo them off so I could get to McGill by 11:30 for the opera meeting. I was very glad I was there, because Mr. Hansen the director provided some really key information as to what the program was about; my only worry was (and is) that I know as an early music master's student I don't have room in my schedule to take the actual class, such that if I end up doing opera I'll have to be volunteering for the many hours I'd devote to it. Not an unreasonable thing to ask of me, but I'll admit to having gotten used to doing singing things for pay or for credit, and especially when I know how slim my time will be anyway with classes and reading and transcriptions, it's a little daunting. At any rate, I decided to skip a scholarship meeting I'd planned to attend, and instead warmed up in the practice room, went to the library to read and take notes on some reserved material, and then went home to do dishes and clean up, have some lunch, and prepare. It was at this time that I found the rideshare offer for Montreal-NY...so I sent her an email and facebook message, but had yet to hear back and was slightly reeling with the idea of going back for the long weekend. I walked back to McGill for my Song Interpretation class audition, but they were incredibly backed up with auditionees, so I used that time to get to the library, pick up the music education binderfull of articles on reserve, and copy them *just* in case the rideshare went through and I'd want to read them in New Haven over the weekend. The Song Interp audition went pretty well, nothing I'd call spectacular, but nothing terrible either, and I was amused the whole time that it was in the same hall as my original audition had been. I went home one last time to refresh and refuel, and then trekked to St. Andrew and St. Paul (A&P) downtown for one more audition.
After a pretty hurried 30min walk over, I was greeted by many other McGill students also auditioning and waiting in the waiting room. It was good to talk with them a little bit before the audition and hear about their past experiences, and I walked into that audition more calm than I'd been for a few others; Jordan de Souza, the conductor, is also a McGill student and also happens to be in my Italian diction class, and the organist Jonathan Oldengarm was all smiles. I especially enjoyed that Jordan spent most of my first piece just listening while reading my CV, which made me feel like it was the voice and not just "hmm, what *are* you wearing" that he cared about; we went on to an excerpt from Bach b minor mass, which went fine, and then a couple sightreading excerpts, Lizst and a Bleib bei uns by unmarked composer. They seemed happy and especially enthusiastic about my previous choral experience, and told me they'd let me know by today, and I left the room feeling fantastic and relieved.
I waited for the next person after me to finish his audition, so we walked back to campus together to get to the music building *one more time* to see the callback sheet for opera. I wasn't feeling hopeful, and was actually rather glum to be checking about what I thought was a bad audition after the exhilaration of a good one, but there it was - Estelí, callback 11:10am, Agrippina excerpt again. So I called Cheryl, we set up one more meeting time for 10:30a this morning, and there it was, the *really* last thing. I called Clayton and demanded he come out to gelato but not for a long night-out experience, so we had a scoop (tried the kiwi - VERY good) and talked about the auditions from the day (he had had continuo audition). I tried to head to bed as early as possible, but was really unable to sleep even though I was exhausted; it was after midnight by the time my brain finally let me rest.
I woke up this morning to a very wonderful, very adorable IM message from my old college suitemate Liubin: "Hi Estelí! Please take care of yourself! I miss you!" I couldn't help but think how many times she'd told me this through college, when I was running myself down way too often, and it was so good to know that, even from her faraway Texas medical school, she knew the exact right thing to say. I rallied and went to warmup at 9:15, met with Cheryl at 10:30, and headed to the main hall, Pollack, for the 11:10 callback. It was a Zen moment as any; I was so tired it was hard to worry too much. Directly before the audition a man came out of the room and said "Are any of you here from Yale?" and then addressed me "Nice to meet you! Alan Murchie just sent me an email about you, I'm Julian Wachner. I'm looking forward to hearing you." So I went in thinking of lovely Alan and how supportive he's always been for me. We played/sang, this time with the recit, which definitely made me feel more grounded, and were thanked; walked out, wished others toi toi toi, and headed to Paleography class. Clayton was there, as was Laura O, and a couple others I knew, so apart from the end of what felt like an era of auditions, I had a few friends to celebrate with - granted the celebration involved neume and square note reading/singing, but it was good. Clayton joined me very nicely for a sandwich at Java U, and I walked back for a superquick packing and cleaning session, went to the bank for money, went to the metro to get where I needed to meet the rideshare. If I can't say I'm proud of my sleep habits this week, I can be proud of my efficiency!!
Soon comes Albany, NY at which point I call Noah for him to head out and drive 1.5 hrs to meet me in Hillburn NY, just off Abbie and Phil's path to New Jersey. I've been looking up at intervals to experience the full moon; listen to the radio with Abbie/Phil; watch little clips of The Office on Phil's computer (!!!); and have a few reality check moments. I'll never have first-time auditions for McGill again, nor will I have to worry about the church thing like I have these past weeks...I didn't mention that also upon my return home from school and lunch, I found an email from A&P saying I have the job there if I want it. I grin even now thinking about my tentative "I've got to go this weekend since I'll neverrrr have a Sunday off again!" because now, with two church offers, it's really definite. So although I won't get to see the Opera McGill cast sheets posted tomorrow, or receive any audition results phonecalls on my Montreal cell phone, or party hardy with Clayton or go to David's voice majors party or do homework actually at home, it feels good to be getting to see Noah for the long weekend, lay low and get done what I need to get done, relax and have more time together than other weekends will allow. I'm not sure how much time I'll have to see people or go out and be sociable, especially with with having moved only less than a month ago - I can only imagine the "whaaat why are you back already??" comments - but the opportunity was too good to pass up.
Hope everyone is well out there! Sending much love.
Estelí
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